Bites From the Word: MORE than a Conqueror

MORE than a Conqueror

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

People keep asking me, “So, how is homeschooling going?” My response is honest. Usually something along the lines of “Well, they are all still alive and so I guess that means it is going well.” or “Better than expected really, except for this facial tic.” I really WANT to love doing this. I really want to adore spending every moment of every single (cotton pickin’) day, with my children. While I am giving myself a passing grade in my first year of teaching, sadly, I find I can muster neither the passion nor the patience to teach the way I really wish I could teach.(Something about actual students being involved really throws a wrench in my grand plans.) Truly, I’m all for seizing teachable moments beyond the practicals of the three R’s, but quite honestly I lack the energy and the discipline it takes to follow through with this. And, while I really do love the quality time with my children, I struggle with the ever important balance that keeps us all upright on the tightrope that becomes our physical and emotional day. More often than I like, I find myself underneath the rope, simply hanging on for the ride with my fingertips.

In this new season, I have found myself lacking in countless physical ways and have discovered many (more) areas of personal weakness that need addressing spiritually. I know I am failing. I am failing to have balance, pay proper attention to my husband, have a clean oven, self control, healthy eating and exercise habits, patience, a meal plan, discipline, a budget, clean floors, enough sleep, wonderful hands on teaching and learning techniques….yada yada yada. I don’t mind being a failure, I know that everyone fails, and that the way I handle my failures is what will grow and define my character and spiritual growth. But STILL! Deep down, I continue to nurture a nagging want; to be everything that everyone I love NEEDS, and to do it all with excellence, grace, and even humility. How prideful am I, that I even think for a moment that success could ever be mine in this area?

Being a conqueror implies overcoming an obstacle by my own volition. Frankly, I’m pretty tired of all the effort it takes to be “strong.” The truth is, I never have been able to, and I never will be able to do God’s job FOR Him. I really want to see what happens when my focus is so centered on Christ that the conquering and the victory-ing doesn’t matter; only the MORE does.

Lord, let it be, that my heart would take hold of the vine that is MORE. Make me a servant, obedient to your voice. I give you the lead on this tightrope that is my life…let me grasp onto YOU unashamedly. The victory and the glory are yours and yours alone. May my only desire be, to want the MORE.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

May it ever be so…

1 comments:

Anonymous said...: I can only say Amen. As a homeschooling Mom myself and being friends with several I will only tell you that we ALL feel the same way many times. Having the world NOT support us only makes the job that much harder. I know for myself that God has given the specific children He has to ME and to no one else. No one else can understand them or love them the WAY I do...and the same goes for you. I myself struggle with being ENOUGH! I won't ever be famous, or even have a strong following on my blog but I must remain faithful...and do what He requires. Love your blog! I think blogging keeps me accountable...by the way...I think your AWESOME! Just thought you should hear that!; Sunday, January 09, 2011 7:09:00 AM